You need several things to run you own server. Some of them can be get for free, some other not. Here are the needs:
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You need a hardware server or a virtual server. In general it costs something.
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In case you decide to install you jabber server, you need a software to do so. Many existe and many are free. Most of them run on Linux, MAC and Microsoft Windows operating systems.
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Once you get all this, you need to host you server at a secure place with some bandwidth guarantee. We do not recommend to run your server behind a " simple ADSL line " even if it works on a technical point of view.
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Once hosted at the correct place you need to be sure incoming TCP 5222 and 5223 can reach you server. You also need to open TCP 5269 incoming to you server and outgoing from you server. Those parameters need to be configured on routers and/or firewall placed between your server and the Internet network.
At this point, i realize i do not have 100% respond to the question ! For pricing information it is better to have a look at the jabber hosting in luxembourg proposed by NETGINE online services.